| A letter to your family and friends for the occasion of your death |
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Chagdud Khadro
The following is a draft of a letter written by Chagdud Khadro to prepare your family and friends for the occasion of your death. First of all, I want you to know how deeply I care for you. Our connection in this lifetime, especially our moments of affection and happiness, represent my great good fortune. The process of dying powerfully brings home the realization that as surely as we have come together so we must go apart and that the time inbetween is all too brief. Of course I feel sorrow, but I also feel a sweet and intense appreciation of what we have shared. As death approaches, however, any ordinary attachment I have for you will not help since I am powerless to turn back from this journey. And your attachment for me, though very natural, is not useful since it may distract my attention to where I cannot really return back to the circumstances of my life with you and hinder me in the tricky transitions of death. What I need from you now is calmness, release, and the recognition that however my death appears outwardly, inwardly it is a profound spiritual opportunity. Your prayers, arising from your own depths of love and compassion, will certainly support my accomplishment of this opportunity. You know that my spiritual training in recent years has been in Tibetan Vajrayana Buddhism. The lineage masters of this tradition have left clear descriptions of what occurs at death and what meditational skills are needed to negotiate death’s transitions well. Specifically, I have learned a technique called p’howa or transference of consciousness at the moment of death. I have requested some Buddhist practitioners to be present at my death and assist me in the practice. They will help me sit up, if possible, and they will do the practice with me. They may also tap the top of my head, since the focus of p’howa is to direct the consciousness out the crown of the head toward a destination of spiritual rebirth. P’howa does not involve any flamboyant ritual and it does not take more than an hour or so. Hospitals are usually very willing to create space and time for this meditation, especially if you discuss it with the staff ahead of time. What follows is a checklist of instructions. I hope they are clear, because I may not be able to clarify them when I am closer to death, but you may ask any of my lamas or dharma friends on the list below if you have questions. 1) Please notify my lama and dharma friends in time for them to be present before I die. Of course, it may be hard to tell when the actual moment of death will be; if it somehow happens that they can’t arrive in time, don’t be devastated. The blessing of my spiritual training will support my passing. 2) Please do not touch my body, particularly my hands and feet, as death approaches because your loving contact may draw my attention downward when my whole focus should be the crown of my head. 3) If no other spiritual practitioner is present when I die, tap my skull in the center about eight fingerwidths back from my original hairline. This could be of immense benefit in channeling the exit of my consciousness. 4) It is best if my body is not handled much before p’howa. Certain signs occur when transference is successful, which other practitioners will recognize. When this has occurred, it doesn’t matter at all what happens to my corpse. I would prefer it to be cremated as cheaply possible and the ashes used to make tza-tsas, little sacred images stamped out of clay. A lama can instruct you. If tza-tsas prove too difficult to accomplish, just have my dharma friends scatter the ashes and make prayers.They are only ashes, the merest residue of my life. 5) I am an organ donor, and hopefully my consciousness will be transferred before they come to harvest my organs. If not, don’t worry: my lama assures me that the merit of offering organs supercedes the disturbance to the body and one’s consciousness will find direction to a high state of rebirth on the basis of that merit. 6) There is some slight possibility that transference won’t be made, organs won’t be harvested, and my consciousness will remain lodged in my body for up to four days and three nights. This will cause difficulties for you because really my body should not be buried or cremated until the consciousness has exited a lama can check. In California and other states, you can keep the body as long as you have a death certificate and it is properly refrigerated, but you can’t bury or cremate it yourself. I don’t want to burden you with my dead body (forgive me if many humorous possibilities spring to mind), but I guess I want you to at least know about not destroying the body prematurely. If you can’t find a place to let it rest, then call the lamas and my dharma friends and strongly request them to practice p’howa. It requires a very great meditator to accomplish p’howa from a distance, so it would be best if they came into the presence of the body. 7) Please make offerings to the lamas who perform prayers and ceremonies after my death. I have designated a certain amount of money in my will to this purpose, because I know I have not been the most virtuous person in this lifetime. Unless p’howa is successful and I am able me to take rebirth in a state beyond suffering and purify my misdeeds from there, I may be confronted with the full weight of my negative actions of body, speech, and mind after death. This will definitely bring suffering. You can alleviate this by asking my dharma friends to arrange prayers and ceremonies. Particularly, I want sponsor a practitioner to recite Akshobhya mantra and to create an image of that buddha. This will cost about $130 and facilitated through the Mahakaruna Foundation, listed below. My lamas will suggest other ceremonies. A list of lamas and dharma friends follows below. Thank you for all that you have done and will do. I know that is requires a certain tolerance for you to honor my spiritual belief system when it is different from your own, but I can hope that the respect you show my requests becomes a source of positive energy that eases your mind at the time of your own death. According to the teachings I have received, if all goes well, then after death I will find liberation from selfish concerns in the realms beyond death and will attain vastly enhanced abilities to benefit you and all beings. This is what I would wish. May it come about just so! Chagdud Gonpa Brasil
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